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“It’s very difficult for you”, “You won’t be able”, “You’ll probably get it wrong”, “Even if you try it, it won’t work” are mental phrases that are repeated by people who sabotage their own work.
Let’s say that self-sabotage is one of the causes of procrastination, or leaving tasks for later. It is the perfect excuse when we do not want to face tasks we are not capable of, even if by knowledge and experience we are.
The denial of oneself, one day or another, we have all experienced it at some point, but the big problem that happens is that we are not aware of it, and we become tyrants with ourselves, punishing ourselves for something we have not even tried to do, only being unconscious, and facing the gallery, we always blame the environment, the crisis, the government, the bosses, or our own shadow, Always to external factors.
The fact of throwing balls out only reinforces negative messages and undermines motivation at work, removes guilt, and makes us enter a cycle where we refuse to progress and traps us in a cycle of self-sabotage that we can hardly get out of, unless we can be aware of it.
The most revealing sign, when it is impossible for you to reach your goals, and despite having the knowledge, skills and desire, something prevents you from moving forward.
Let’s see if you recognize yourself in any of the following points, or more than one, unequivocal symptoms of self-sabotage:
You know you have a pending task, but you always find something more ‘important’ to do, something you think is in a hurry, or an ‘excuse task’ to be able to postpone the task in question. This is also known as procrastination.
You have a wish, or dream to fulfill, but none of the steps you take go in that direction, you never do anything about it, nothing to change the situation.
You worry about things that for others are a grain of sand, you are afraid of failure, and even knowing that you can do a task, you doubt yourself and your abilities. You panic when you get close to achieving something for yourself, and that produces a feeling of stress, anxiety, and even depression for no apparent reason.
start using aggressive, non-assertive communication and don’t change this situation, even to the point of spoiling relationships with anger, resentment, and jealousy.
Feelings of worthlessness (frustration): When you talk about goals, the accomplishments of others are more important, and you detract from your own, even coming to accept unfounded criticism of your work, and that leads to a spiral of frustration, discouragement, and anger at yourself.
All of these feelings envelop you, haunt you, and will prevent you from doing what you need to do to free yourself. They feed back on each other, aggravating the situation and leading to failure, unless you are aware of this situation along the way, in order to reverse it.
The first step to overcome it, each time you tell yourself the phrases with which we started the article, be aware of them, and reject them. It is the first and most important step in overcoming Self-sabotage. And from that moment on, find the reason that leads you not to believe in yourself, to be able to treat it and change it.
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